How come my toasters setting is somewhere between slightly warmed bread and TOTALLY FUCKING CHARRED.
I wish I could loose weight by scrolling

  • Mom: Go to bed early tonight, we have running around to do tomorrow
  • me: Mom you don’t understand my internet friends need me
  • Mom: Till 3 am?
  • me:
  • Mom:
  • me:
  • Mom:
  • me:
  • Mom:
  • me: Yes

It’s sad that this is reality.
That moment when you think there’s a spider on you

And you’re like…




And you start freaking out…






And then you realize it’s just a hair

Me on tumblr:

Me: *goes to reply to someone’s picture or post*

Me: No that is stupid they’ll think I’m dumb

Me: *Goes to answer someone’s question with thoughtful advice*

Me: No that is stupid someone probably already answered it only better

Me: *Reblog’s someones picture and goes to add a comment under*

Me: No I’ll backspace that, they’ll think I’m a know-it-all for adding my opinion

Me: *Goes to reblog an anxiety cat pic*

Me: No can’t do that then everyone will know what a shut in i am




Me: *sits there and and doesn’t do anything like a stalker*

Me to everyone on Facebook

I hate this moment on Tumblr




Cause I just imagine Tumblr sitting there like:




And then I’m all like:

The moment when you stand infront of automatic doors at the grocery store and you pretend you have magic/Jedi powers

lol

That moment when your friend asks you to do something and you’re like No, but then they offer you food

And you’re like:

Me: Wow, I actually look good today.

Life: lol here’s a cowlick, a zit and 5 lbs.

That moment when you stand behind your Crush in line, but you dont actually say anything so you admire the back of their head

When you can’t get your hair or make-up right and you just want to punch your reflection.